WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
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