Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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