just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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