It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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