He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
