arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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