Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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