Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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