Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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