i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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