Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
