i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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