apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
