Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
