i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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