I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
