forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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