Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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