So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
