Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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