I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
