you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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