I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
