he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she peed on how many people?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
