when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
