Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
