Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
