I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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