So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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