I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
