last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
