dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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