Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
