I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
