We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
