I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
