i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
