Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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