Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
