i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
and you fell through a lawn chair
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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