and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
