oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Boobs are out for the taking
Well I just put wine in my tea
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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