so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
