I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
