I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
