Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
PANTIES FOUND
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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