I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
