his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
