I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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