I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
