I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize