She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
