it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
