doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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