in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She's the barista slut.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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