i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
