Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
