And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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