Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
