I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I smell like Dick and happiness
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