super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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