I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
