Pappa wants mamma naked
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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