so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
