At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
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