You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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