U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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