we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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