Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
