dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
